you build me up and then I fall apart
by missMHO
Summary: /olivarry - soulmates au, established relationship/ Finally Oliver climbs onto one of the rooftops, seeking solitude even from scarce strangers he came across his way. He is escaping from people but deep down he knows he longs for the company of one particular person. But he can't see him right now, not when- The familiar sound makes Oliver's heart beat faster. He is already here.


_So, I don't know how it happened but sometime after the last crossover I totally fell into olivarry trash can. I usually had a brief romance with this ship after every flarrow crossover but this time it got out of control and now here we are with me publishing an olivarry fic *sighs*_  
 _Hope you'll enjoy! xD_

 _Special thanks for kasssumi and thekasialin who took a look at it to check whether it's not a total disaster. I'm not a native speaker of English so I apologise for any mistakes!_

 _Title taken from "Human" by Christina Perri because I was listening to it on repeat while writing this._

 **WARNING: SPOILERS FOR ARROW SEASON 5 EPISODE 9!**

* * *

Even though his team told him they were still with him, he can't find it in himself to feel better. Evelyn's betrayal, Curtis' getting hurt in front of his husband, Billy's death - _murder_ as a little voice in his head keeps reminding him… It is all his fault.

So he lets himself get swallowed by the darkness, wandering the streets he's fighting for by day and by night. But tonight Star City can't provide the consolation he needs. Seeing how much still needs to be done makes him wonder whether he is as toxic to his beloved city as he is to people around him.

Finally Oliver climbs onto one of the rooftops, seeking solitude even from scarce strangers he came across his way. He is escaping from people but deep down he knows he longs for the company of one particular person. But he can't see him right now, not when he started doubting everything, not when-

The familiar sound makes Oliver's heart beat faster. _He_ is already here.

Barry takes a seat next to Oliver on the roof, mirroring the other man's pose by leaning against the wide chimney. They are silent for a moment, Oliver simply taking deep breaths. For some reason he feels panic, as if today's misfortunes could also affect Barry now that he is right here.

Oliver startles when he feels a light touch on his hand but he allows Barry to tangle their fingers together. It's such a little point of contact but it feels as if a huge weight was taken from his shoulders. Not all of it but enough not to feel hopelessly squashed.

"Do you want to talk about what happened today?" Barry asks, his voice soft.

Oliver almost laughs. Of course Barry knows something has happened. Their bond is still developing gradually but since they realised that their soulmate marks are a match, much have changed in how it is affecting them. Recently they've started to feel each other's feelings - not all of them but some of the most profound and strong ones can be detected by the other. Only yesterday Oliver was bombarding Barry with phone calls because he felt the distress that overwhelmed Barry when he was attacked by Savitar again. With all that happened, Barry must have felt Oliver's mess of emotions.

"I killed a man today," he confesses and Barry's hand tightens its grip around Oliver's. "I thought it was Prometheus but it was all a carefully constructed ploy against me and I…"

Oliver closes his eyes and takes a deep breath when he sees Felicity's face in his mind, the sorrow and shock when he told her he murdered her partner.

He tries to find a sliver of comfort within the fact that Billy and Felicity weren't soulmates - Oliver never asked about it but if they were, she'd _know_ before Oliver's arrival with the horrible news. The attempt at comfort is futile. Oliver knows that there are many people who never find their match and still lead happy lives with partners they chose on their own, without the guide posts from fate - or whatever is giving people their soulmate marks.

"The man I murdered today was Billy Malone, Felicity's partner." He finishes and observes as confusion and disbelief blossom over Barry's face and Oliver can't stand it. He can't handle Barry's disappointment in him today.

He tries to get away but it's not that easy when your soulmate is the fastest man alive. Barry doesn't allow for Oliver's hand to slip out of his grip. He tightens it and uses to tug Oliver towards him. Oliver doesn't have any will to fight left in him tonight and the movement pulls him close until he's leaning against Barry's side. Finally, he sags under the emotional strain and his head falls to Barry's shoulder. Immediately there's a tender touch on his neck, fingers combing through his hair.

Just being this close seems to put together some of the pieces of himself Oliver thought he lost today. Barry smells of static - _ozone_ , as the CSI keeps correcting him - and it always makes Oliver feel _safe_.

"Prometheus, he... " Oliver murmurs against Barry's shoulder. "He told me that everyone close to me dies and I _can't…_ " he swallows nervously. "I feel like he's right… I'm so sorry you ended up with _poison_ instead of a soulmate who's worthy of you."

Barry's hand travels from Oliver's hair to his jaw and manoeuvres his head so that they're looking at each other. "I'm not saying you're an _easy_ person to be with, Ollie, but you _are_ my soulmate and I wouldn't have it any other way."

Oliver can only stare at the other man in wonder. He still doesn't know how he deserved such a remarkable partner.

"And I think you should take your soulmate's word over someone who's oh-so originally trying to pull the evil archer plot," Barry adds and Oliver feels his lips stretch in a smile. He still considers it one of Barry's superpowers, next to the superspeed - that he can always make Oliver smile.

Barry leans in to leave a brief kiss on Oliver's lips and it feels like being rewarded even though he didn't do anything praiseworthy.

"So, I know you've spent some years on an island in the North China Sea and _you don't get cold_ but I thought maybe you'd like _not_ to spend a night in Star City's chill for a change?" Barry says innocently but Oliver knows where it's all going. "I could get us somewhere more comforta-"

"Alright, alright," Oliver says before Barry turns his puppy eyes on him. He barely manages to brace himself for a journey in superspeed before they're already in his flat.

Oliver slowly lets out a breath, his eyes still closed as his body tries to deal with what just happened. Barry allows him that moment, Oliver can feel his retreated presence right in front of him. Though not for too long, he's not too good at the slow.

"So, I know you're a strong independent vigilante mayor and all," Barry starts and Oliver opens his eyes to give him an unamused look. "But please, let me take care of you tonight?"

His voice is so soft when he poses the question, his eyes full of tenderness, and Oliver is _so tired._

"Okay," his voice is so rough it's barely audible but Barry hears his answer, he beams at him and leans in for another short kiss. Being kissed by the other man is still a little bit like being shocked by electricity in the most pleasurable way. Oliver's not sure whether it is a soulmate thing - he did hear all the cliches about sparks and butterflies, thank you very much - or just a Barry thing, but he doesn't really care. He just knows he's addicted to it.

Too soon, Barry withdraws and just like that Oliver remembers why his soulmate is even here and the weight of it all settles on his shoulders with additional force.

"Come on," Barry encourages as he grabs one of Oliver's hands to steer him towards the bathroom.

Once they're there, Barry uses superspeed to turn on the shower and get both of them out of their clothes. It looks like he has a clear agenda for tonight. Then he takes Oliver's hand once again to tug him so that they both end up standing under the spray of water.

Barry takes in the bruises Oliver collected while fighting Prometheus with conspicuous discomfort.

"Not all of us can heal in a flash," Oliver teases but he can hear himself that it came out flat. Barry tuts at him and reaches for the shower gel - the one smelling of limes which Oliver only buys because he knows it's Barry's favourite. He doesn't comment when Barry starts applying it to Oliver's skin.

His hands are delicate and moves deliberate as he slowly washes Oliver. His fingers almost ghost over fresh bruises but then linger over old scars, tattoos, and marks… Until they stop altogether over Oliver's heart, right where the most important of his marks is.

Oliver doesn't have to look down at his own chest to see the green lightning bolt that held Barry's interest, it's enough to move his gaze to Barry's collarbone right where his matching mark is. Sometimes it still feels unreal that he has found a match at all, that there is now a soulmate in his life...

Barry's hands travel from Oliver's chest to his neck and he draws their mouths together, this time for a more lingering kiss, and more passionate as Barry's tongue darts out to lick Oliver's lip. Oliver surrenders to it and lets Barry fully dominate the kiss, allows the bliss to flood his mind and make it _stop_ for just a second.

ж

When Barry rinses the last of shampoo and shower gel lingering on Oliver's skin, he notices that the other man is slightly aroused. It brings a small smile to his lips.

They still don't live together and don't see each other every day, both too devoted to their cities and vigilante commitments, but Barry _knows_ his soulmate quite well. And now he knows that this arousal wasn't a result of that one deep kiss or any of his touches being more teasing than practical, no… He knows it's because of the sheer awareness of Barry taking care of Oliver, it's because he made Oliver feel like he deserves it.

Barry discovered how Oliver reacts to praise and affectionate protectiveness by accident. He loves making his partner feel wanted and cared for and discovering that it affects Oliver in some special ways just sweetened the deal. Especially if during times like tonight it may help wear Oliver out enough to provide him with at least a few hours of peaceful sleep.

Oliver stays silent when Barry leads him out of the shower and starts drying him with one of the soft towels. Barry smiles when he sees how Oliver's eyelids flutter close as he starts to relax more and more under the other man's ministrations.

They walk naked through the apartment and once they're in the bedroom, Barry makes Oliver lie down on the bed on his back. Barry superspeeds to turn off all of the lights in the flat and comes back to lie next to his soulmate with one of his arms spread over Oliver's chest. Barry's puts his lips on Oliver's cheek, leaving a trail of light kisses as his mouth travels to the other man's ear.

"You're a good man, Ollie," Barry whispers right into it, his lips brushing the shell. Oliver grumbles in response but no other objection is expressed. So Barry continues, leaving kisses on Oliver's jaw in places of full stops. "And you're only human and mistakes are in our nature. You're still admired by so many people, you evoke _awe_. I had such a crush on the Starling City Vigilante before I even met you and you became so much more since then." As he speaks, Barry's hand makes a slow journey downwards along Oliver's perfectly muscled stomach. Until it stops at a hardening cock. "When I found _you_ , my soulmate, it was so easy to fall for you." Oliver shivers all over when Barry's hand wraps around his length and starts stroking it lightly. Barry feels his own member twitch only from seeing Oliver like this.

"I never cared for the celebrity but then I met you and _fuck,_ you were like a force of nature I wanted to get devoured by. Then I learned you are the vigilante and I never wanted to leave your side, I wanted to watch you work, see all the good that you're doing…" Oliver's cock is fully hard in his hand now and Barry's his hips start to move involuntarily, rubbing his own length against the other man's hip. "And you deserve all the best in return-"

He's not able to continue speaking as Oliver's hands cease gripping the sheets and move upwards to cup Barry's face. Then he's being pulled into a rough kiss and Barry can only moan into the other man's mouth as he returns it with passion.

Once Barry takes control of the kiss again, Oliver hums with satisfaction. Then Oliver puts his hands on the other man's hips to pull him up so that Barry's sitting in his lap - he gets the hint and positions himself so that he can take both of their cocks into his hand. They soon find a gratifying rhythm as they rub against each other within the circle of Barry's fingers, their lips still locked in a kiss that's becoming more messy and desperate with every thrust of their hips.

Barry feels he's getting close to his orgasm but tonight he wants to see Oliver come undone first. And with how everything unwinded tonight, Barry has an upper hand.

He withdraws from the kiss enough to be able to look into Oliver's eyes, dark from desire and expectant. Then Barry smiles at his soulmate knowing that this one simple expression can't convey all the emotions threatening to burst out from his chest, but it doesn't stop him from trying.

"I love you, Ollie."

Oliver's eyes shut as he trembles under Barry and comes with a breathy moan. This sight alone is enough to push Barry over the edge and he spills over Oliver's stomach, whimpering the other man's name. He collapses onto the bed next to Oliver, savouring the overwhelming bliss, the delightful blankness of his mind. He needed that, too.

Once Barry's limbs cease feeling too wobbly, he superspeeds to clean their combined mess off Oliver's skin and comes back to the other man's side.

"Thank you," Oliver murmurs sleepily, leaving a kiss on Barry's cheek.

"Anytime," Barry replies, tangling their legs together. He listens to Oliver's breathing in the darkness until he's sure the other man has fallen asleep, only then allowing himself to follow suit.

He can only hope they wake up in the morning with a lesser burden on their shoulders.


End file.
